drjenn
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Hi! So as I’m typing this my 22 month old is screaming/crying from her crib which has become ‘our’ new thing at both bed and nap time. It is VERY stressful and am looking for any advice/words of wisdom. Nothing in our routine has changed but now she cries herself to sleep (5-30 min) as well as wakes up crying! Amongst the cries are Mommy! Daddy!
Ideas?
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This reply was modified 283 days ago by
 drjenn.
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drjenn
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Social/Emotional Development: Wants to be independent and have things “her way” – I call it “The Wonderful World of Me.” Has lots of emotions and isn’t quite sure what they are and how to express them appropriately. Likes to know what to expect (routines are very comforting) but has to have some control over it. And often toddlers want to “talk” or “unwind” about their day by themselves when they go to bed.
What to do: ROUTINE: Shift the naptime/bedtime routine to her room. Guide her but let her “lead the way” by suggesting she perform each step and you follow. Give a 5 minute warning for heading up to her room to get ready to go to sleep. Go there in 5 minutes and do whatever dressing/changing first. Dim the lights/close curtains, etc…Then 5 minutes of reading/quiet playing with you with the same warning. I suggest reading always. Then put things away and ask her if she would like to bring the book or a “special friend” into her crib with her for quiet time before she falls asleep. If she says no do it anyway and put her and it in the crib.
What to do: LANGUAGE/COMMUNICATION: Acknowledge and then put words to her emotions. Ask her to tell you how she feels: “You seem very upset. Can you tell me why?” if there is crying or yelling. Your goal is get her to say why she’s upset, even if it’s “no bed” or something simple like that. Clearly and simply explain each step in the bedtime routine, even up to “Ok I’m going to close the door now and let you go to sleep when you (and “special friend” if there one) is ready.” The key is to verbalize everything that you do.
Hope this helps…it will take some time so the first night may be a mess. That’s ok. Keep at it and tweak it to your liking or her needs. And once she’s in there don’t go back in. Toddlers can calm themselves and sometimes need to “let out” their emotions in ways that adults don’t quite understand because we can manage our emotions and deal with them. Toddlers can’t yet. But they’re learning and you can help with that by acknowledging the emotions and talking them through proper expression.
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